If Finding a VA Drains Your Energy, You’re Doing It Wrong

A few weeks ago, we were on a coaching call where we dug into something called The CEO Mixing Desk, and let’s just say, it hit home.

We talked about those three big blockers that every business owner eventually meets:

Your capacity gap (there’s only one of you), your skills gap (there’s stuff you could do, but really shouldn’t), and your identity gap (the part of you still learning to own the role of “CEO”).

It was one of those calls that leaves you with more questions than answers, but in a good way. The kind that gently holds up a mirror and asks, “Where are you at… and where do you actually want to be?”

Later in that session, we did something called the CEO Energy & Money Audit. Basically, we looked at all the things in our business that:

• Give us energy and make money (keep these, protect them at all costs),

• Make money but drain energy (these need to be delegated),

• Drain energy and take money (delete, delete, delete), and

• Give energy but take money (the ones that fill your cup -  keep them, but don’t confuse them with work).
  
  

It’s such a powerful exercise because when you start looking honestly at where your energy goes, you can’t unsee it.

And then someone in the group said something that made us pause.

She typed into the chat:

“Finding a VA drains energy.”

And wow, did that land.

Because it’s true, isn’t it? So many women know they need support. They’re stretched thin, their business is growing, and deep down they know they can’t keep doing everything alone.

But the idea of finding that right person, the one who’ll get it, care, follow through, and not create more work, feels exhausting. Like one more thing on an already overflowing to-do list.


We hear it all the time:

• “It’ll be faster if I just do it myself.”

• “I wouldn’t even know where to start delegating.”

• “What if they don’t do it like I would?”
  

We get it, because we’ve been there.

But here’s the truth:

If finding a VA drains your energy, it’s probably because you’re trying to do it from the wrong place.

You’re trying to make decisions from inside the chaos,  instead of from clarity.

You see, delegation isn’t about offloading tasks. It’s about shifting identity.

It’s the moment you stop being the doer of everything and start being the leader of your business.

And yes, that shift feels uncomfortable at first. It asks you to let go, to trust, to slow down before you speed up.

But here’s what we want you to know:

The right support doesn’t drain your energy; it expands it.

When you find the right VA or OBM, you don’t just get more time back. You get mental space.

You start sleeping better.

You stop constantly thinking about what you’re dropping.

You have the capacity again to create, to connect, to grow.

And maybe most importantly, you get to feel like you again.

So if you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me. I’m ready, but I don’t even know where to start,” here’s where we’d begin:

1. Start small.
   You don’t have to hand over your whole business at once. Pick one recurring task, something that drains your energy but doesn’t need you to do it. That’s your first delegation.
   
   

2. Look for alignment, not perfection.
   The right VA isn’t a clone of you. They’re someone who aligns with your values and your vision, someone you can build trust with.
   
   

3. Create space for communication.
   Delegation fails in silence. The best partnerships are built on honest, open chats, the kind where you can say, “Hey, this feels heavy,” and fix it together.
   
   

4. Check in with your energy often.
   Ask yourself: does this give me energy or take it? That question alone can guide almost every decision in business.
   
   
   

Because at the end of the day, your business should support your life, not the other way around.

And if you’re ready to explore what that could look like with the right kind of support team behind you, get in touch with us here. We’d love to help you find your calm, your clarity, and your energy again.